Keep Going

My Saturday started with a walk on the beach. Galveston, Texas to be exact. I arrived by way of Houston knowing that my heart and soul needed to get to the beach. When my life has those bumps in the road, when something changes and you need to make a new plan, and even when life is just going along in the predictable fashion…I am one of those people that needs to get to the coast. The wind in your hair, the salty smell of the ocean, the breeze blowing, the water just washing up on the shore. All of this can help me take a breath and see what I am really supposed to be doing and focusing on in the next chapter of my life. SO when my trip to Houston was being planned...it became the natural excuse to get to the coast.

Saturday morning I rolled out of bed and I knew my first mission was to get to the beach and walk. I just knew there was a message for me to hear. Just the solitude of walking on the beach in the morning can help quiet all of the daily chatter and thoughts that cloud our brains. The sky was cloudy, the birds were flying and the beach was empty. This time of year provides a bounty of amazing shells on the beach, so few people out to pick up the treasures that the ocean delivers. As I walked I kept finding that special shell that was speaking to me…simple round with bursts of color.  It was not my intention to gather shells today...my goal was to be quiet and see if I could hear a message from the sea.  

Walking the beach is the most amazing treasure hunt. So many little pieces of wood that I could imagine painting, those shells that kept catching my eyes. I kept filling the little pouch on the front of my sweatshirt, trying to tell myself to look up, look out at the horizon…what is there? I walk and walk. Not knowing how far to go or when to turn around. I have no schedule today. I am visiting Sandie and I told her I am just going to stay outside all day today. 

So I keep walking. The birds are so fascinating. Their tiny little legs moving so fast when they chase the tide as it washes up on the sand. The beach keeps going and the gifts keep coming. There is a house under construction and the workers are pounding away as they build a new magical place for someone to come capture the life on the coast. As I walk, there is an echo of the pounding of nails into the wood. It keeps echoing in my ears and then the message begins to sing to the beat of that musical message. The message is, “Keep Going!”

That is it. That is what I have been feeling, hearing and doing. Now I have the words to go with my song; the lyrics to play to my new chapter of life. This is not even new to me. This has been coming to me when I am in pain and feel paralyzed. I have just not put words into place. Keep Going. This is what happened after I lost my brother. I could hear him whispering to me, "Corinne, Keep going to see my children. Go to Asheville. Pieces of me are there." So that is what my daughter and I did. Every month, or every few weeks that we could, we hopped on a plane and went to Asheville. It was haunting for me to make this trip and know that my brother would not be there to greet me at the airport. I was so scared that I would crumble in the airport. That my legs would literally not be able to hold me up.  But, instead, every time I looked into the sea of people greeting me in Asheville, I would see Chris, Keith’s wife. She would be wearing Healing Knots on both wrists, she would run towards me and we would embrace. And this hug would start to fill me up. It would fill me with love, understanding, pain, agony, and actually hope. We were both just barely standing but we could make it through another visit and love these gorgeous children. And that is what we did. Even when we had no idea how to do it, we just simply…Kept Going.

And, I think of so many times in my life that I have just whispered quietly to myself… Keep Going. When parenting is hard and you think you are done. When children getting older does not always mean that your job as a parent gets easier. There is one thing that still works…just tell yourself, Keep Going.

The Healing Knots journey is one of those amazing gifts. I sometimes try to analyze and define it. I fret that Emily is done with me. I wonder if I will be tired of wooden beads and knots…and I wake up and I think of another design. Someone from a place I have never heard of orders a bracelet. A friend texts me a picture of her bracelet and thanks me again for making a bracelet that is holding her wish. And I get invited to meet people doing great things in the world that want to learn about a Healing Knots class. So, I realize that the only thing to do is Keep Going.

When you think it is time to leave a job and you know it is time to go. You are searching for that next opportunity and challenge that you are ready to face. The resume goes out, the emails are sent, and there is silence…You keep showing up to the same job you have been going to, feeling you have outgrown your responsibilities there….but, you must Just Keep Going!

My friend Leslie is fighting that horrible Cancer that has invaded her brain. She is still in the hospital. It is so hard to watch my friend like this. I am not sure if she even knows who I am. I barely know what to say to try to make her smile. This could be any of us, it is painful, but, she doesn’t want to be there either! So, I just Keep Going to see her.

I feel useless for my daughter, she has a challenging French class that she just cannot master. My 1980’s Alabama high school French just does not compare and I am no help. I ask the teacher for tutor ideas and no response. I finally google, “a French tutor in Austin.” We start driving and realize she is on the other side of town. I question if this is crazy and not the way to spend a Sunday. She opens the door to greet us and she is perfectly French and charming. Hallie makes a 92 on the French quiz the next week. SOOO, we will Keep Going!

Oh, this is why I came here. I drove to Houston….and as I was on the road, I could not go home. The coast was only an hour away. I am so happy I listened and decided to “Just Keep Going!!”

I will keep practicing this when I get lost and want to turn around. When life gets hard and I don’t understand why something is happening like it is. Because, sometimes the answers are not obvious.  The rewards are not visible. We are given so many opportunities to learn new lessons…and sometimes the only way to get there is to Just Keep Going.

1 comment :

  1. This is beautiful. I am so glad that I found your blog.
    Thank you!