Recipe for Life: The Perfect Sissy (In-Law)

Last night, I had the opportunity to see Beyoncé. You know, the one person on this planet that I talk about/obsess over. The show was amazing. I was able to be 20 ft away from Bey and Jay as they made their entrance and exit into the stadium. It was all set-up to be perfect.

Beyoncé and Jay on their way to the stage
Except, there was something missing. Through all of the lights, the music, the dancing, and my idol being under the same roof as me...there was an emptiness. I had a seat that was directly against a railing on my right. But, on my left, an empty chair. While that seems hard to believe in a show as massive as the On The Run tour, there was a vacant seat. And I can't help but think it was symbolic of that something missing. That something was my sister-in-law.

My older brother has only seriously dated one person. And that dating started really early on when they were just preteens. I always made fun of him for having a girlfriend (what are little sisters for?) and thought that Heidi was mean because she was taking my brother away from me. But, as the years passed and my brother went through different stages of his life, Heidi was by his side. Eventually, I realized that I should probably start being friends with this girl because she is probably going to be around for quite awhile. I grew out of my immature stages (for the most part) and grew extremely close to the two of them, looking up to them for just about everything. Heidi got me ready for every school dance and even made my prom dress for my senior prom. That's right, she made it just for me. They were my role models, my support system, and my best friends, and they still are.

Sam and Heidi 2004 Homecoming
Me, Heidi and Sam, SEU Graduation 2014
In 2009, I heard that Beyoncé was touring in Dallas and knew I had to see her live. But, who to go with?

This was the first trip that Heidi and I took together, just the two of us. We had traveled together before, but it was always with Sam or the rest of our families. This time, it was just us.

We drove to Dallas with our Beyoncé playlist, chocolate covered pretzels, crazy outfits and so many giggles. We checked into our fancy hotel that my mom Pricelined for us. We wore our high heels and robes and danced to Single Ladies. We went to the show and were sure our lives were changed forever. Bey has such a presence that seeing her live is nothing short of magical.

Me and Heidi pretending to be fancy with our robes in Dallas, 2009. 
Fast forward to 2013. Sam and Heidi are married and living in Georgia while my brother earns his chiropractic degree. The miles apart are extremely difficult. I was so used to driving 20 minutes to their apartment for weekend-long sleepovers, and now we see each other but a few times a year. The price of getting older, I guess.

The timing worked out just right so Heidi was in Texas for the show. We, once again, drove to Dallas and jammed the entire way. We had a nice hotel in which we pretended to be fancy by ordering room service and drinking (cheap) wine. This was becoming our tradition. Our bonding. These were the moments in which Heidi went from being my brother's girlfriend/wife to my Sissy. Not even sister-in-law. Heidi is now known as my sister. It confuses people when I tell them that my brother and sister are married...but hey! She is 100% my sister and I am so glad to have had her play such a huge role in my life as I grew up.

Snaps from our 2013 trip to see Beyoncé in Dallas
When this On The Run tour was announced with both Beyoncé and Jay-Z, I knew I had to get my ticket early. They went on sale around the time I was finishing up school, so I knew that splurging was a must as this would be my graduation gift to myself. But, the dates didn't line up for Heidi to come with me. And in the moment of me buying my ticket, that was totally fine. I am independent and can totally navigate a new city by myself to see the person I idolize so much.

Until yesterday. When I didn't have a fancy hotel to stay in, or a sissy to dance around in heels and robes with. No one to order over-priced room service with. I didn't even plan my Beyoncé outfit, because what was the point? I wasn't sharing it with my sissy. So I sat there, waiting for the show to start when I get this feeling that I shouldn't be there. When I just want to cry and leave because I'm alone. Even if I was about to see the power couple that many dream of seeing. I felt empty.

That seat next to me stayed vacant throughout the entire show. I know that was supposed to be Heidi's seat. There were moments when I would turn to exclaim about the amazingness that was unfolding in front of my eyes, but Heidi wasn't there to share in that moment with me.

So last night, I figured it all out. People often ask why I love Beyoncé so much. And while there are obvious answers and reasons (she's amazing and amazing and amazing)...it is so much more than that.

I love Beyoncé because she is this symbol for my relationship with my sister. We created an entire experience out of going to these shows, and without Heidi, it just isn't the same.

So I am declaring it right here and right now. From now until we can no longer stand and need to be wheeled into the shows, we will go as sisters. Because that is what Beyoncé is all about. Me and Sissy pretending we can sing and dance. Eating junk food and pretending we're fancy. Wearing heels that are too uncomfortable for life and buying Beyoncé t-shirts that cost way too much. Laughing until we cry and crying because Beyoncé is so powerful. And sharing all of these moments together...as sisters.

Love you, Heidi! Sissy trips to Beyoncé or bust.

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